


scott lang is absolutely, positively going to die here

by Skyuni123



Category: Ant-Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Cooking, Fangirls, First Kiss, Fluff and Humor, Getting Together, M/M, Teasing, but a good mess, scott lang definitely had all the captain america merch as a kid, scott lang is a mess, set between civil war and ant-man 2
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-08
Updated: 2018-07-15
Packaged: 2019-06-07 05:34:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,197
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15212312
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Skyuni123/pseuds/Skyuni123
Summary: scott lang has a not-so tiny, able to be seen from space, crush on steve rogers.steve rogers is thoroughly aware of that.





	1. Chapter 1

The whole thing’s a bit of a mess.

Scott gets this  _ call,  _ okay, from Falcon -  _ the  _ Falcon, the Avenger (ex??? Avenger), who he fought that one time, telling him that Captain America ( _ THE  _ Captain America) is going to fight half of the Avengers to save his best friend (ex-lover/boyfriend??) and needs his help.

Of course he accepts. 

 

Despite everything. Despite Cassie, despite the possibility of being put back in jail - and really, he’d hoped he’d never get stuck in there again - despite the very real possibility of his own demise.

 

It’s Captain America! How could he not?!

That’s when everything goes to shit. 

  
  


Steve Rogers is  _ A Lot _ in person. TV just doesn’t do the bright blue eyes, chiseled jaw and  _ muscles  _ justice. Plus, he smells really good. The guy’s been on the run. How on earth does he smell so good? It’s really very unfair. 

Scott makes an absolute fool of himself by shaking Cap’s hand for way too long, stumbling over his words (“thinks for thanking of me,” really??) and not being able to stop himself from touching Cap’s muscles.

 

He’s a dumbass.

So no change there, really. 

  
  


They fight the other Avengers, - and Scott’s getting  _ real _ tired of Tony Stark swanning around acting like he owns the place, so he might hit slightly harder than he probably should - mess up even more, and end up locked in jail. 

Scott was pretty sure he’d end up in prison again, but he’d hoped he’d at least be able to see his daughter this time around. 

It’s prison.

It’s life.

 

But then, it’s  _ Steve.  _

 

He springs them from the place, takes the rest of the Avengers (ex??? Avengers) elsewhere and drops Scott back home, with his daughter, and the FBI.

Steve is gone, Hope and Hank are gone, and Scott’s been left with an ankle bracelet and a strict two-year home detention sentence.

Yeah, he’s a dumbass.

 

* * *

 

It’s about a week later.

 

Luis is piling high a sandwich from whatever leftovers are in Scott’s fridge - which is a  _ very  _ brave move - and Scott’s complaining. It’s not really complaining, not  _ really,  _ but anecdoting with insults thrown in. 

 

“-think I was swayed by his face, you know? It’s very unfair. I don’t even know how the Nazis managed to keep fighting against the guy. He’s  _ beautiful. _ And now I’m stuck here and I-”

 

“Scotty?” Luis interrupts him, mouth full. It’s hard to tell under the mumbling, but what Scott thinks he says is, “This is what people like me call a  _ crush _ .” 

 

“What?” Scott stops monologuing and looks at Luis, almost stunned. “I don’t have a crush on Captain America.”

 

“Steve Rogers then. And yeah, you do.”

 

“I really don’t.” 

 

“I’m not gonna argue with you, Scotty, but only one of us was caught jerking off to Captain America comics in jail, and it wasn’t me.” Luis sticks the rest of his abhorrent sandwich in his mouth and raises his eyebrows at him. 

 

That didn’t happen.

Really.

Honestly.

It didn’t.

 

“That didn’t happen.” Scott insists, “I was just-”

 

But then there’s a knock at the front door. 

Well.

 

“It  _ didn’t  _ happen.” Scott insists, again, pointing a finger at Luis. He goes to open the door. He’s got no idea who the guest could be - barring Luis, not many people have come over since the whole ‘ankle bracelet’ thing.

 

It’s a bit of a surprise to open the door and see Steve Rogers standing on his stoop.

 

Um.

What?

 

Steve smiles earnestly, and wonderfully, and perhaps a little apologetically - and  _ God,  _ he’s holding an honest-to-God brown bag of groceries, what an absolute fucking wet dream - and says, “Scott. I was hoping I’d catch you. Can I come in?”   
  


“You can come anywhere you like.”  _ Jesus fuck  _ did he just say that? “I mean - yeah - I - yeah, you can come in. Sure. Welcome. Uh-” He stops talking before he says anything worse and just steps aside to let Steve in. 

 

Steve grins, a tad beatifically, and steps into the house, brushing unnecessarily close to Scott as he does.

The proximity is such that would make a lesser man swoon.

Scott, however, just grips on the door handle dizzily, and shuts it solidly behind them. This is  _ fine.  _ This is fine.

 

“I like your place.” Steve’s glancing around, obviously noticing Cassie’s drawings pinned along the wall and his electronic drum kit at the end of the hall. “It’s unique.”

 

Oh God, Steve Rogers is in his bachelor pad. There’s definitely dirty underwear on the floor somewhere in the building. Shit. Why hadn’t he called? Scott manages nothing more than a panicked grunt and a, “Yeah. Unique. That’s- it’s- unique.’ 

 

“Kitchen this way?” Steve gestures, managing to get it right on the first try, like it’s something he does all the time.

 

For all Scott knows, he  _ does.  _ “Yeah.” 

  
  


Luis is upending a hot sauce bottle onto his sandwich once they get into the kitchen. From behind Steve’s amazingly broad and muscled back, Scott waves a hand over his throat, gesturing for him to cut it out.

 

“Holy  _ shit. _ ” Luis exclaims, looking up at Steve with no small amount of wonder. “Captain America. You’re more beautiful in real life than you are on tv, and like, I can say that objectively, ‘cause I don’t swing that way. Scott does though, if you were wondering.”

 

Scott is going to die here. Right now. “Luissss.” 

 

“Right. Right. I’ll go. Uh… call me when you want to talk about those security cameras, bro.” Luis takes his phone and his monstrosity of a sandwich, and pushes past them and out into the hallway. “Remember the comics, Scotty!”

 

“The comics?” Steve turns to him, perfect brow slightly furrowed. “What does he mean by ‘the comics’?”

 

Scott is absolutely, positively going to die here.


	2. Chapter 2

Later, they’re standing opposite each other at the kitchen island. The bag of groceries is over by the fridge. Now that Scott’s managed to move slightly past the whole thing of STEVE ROGERS BEING IN HIS HOUSE, he’s actually able to take the man in. He’s dressed casually, in jeans and a white tee, with a plaid shirt overtop, and there’s a hint of stubble playing about the edges of his face.

 

He looks like a lumberjack fantasy. He looks ridiculously good.

Scott feels a little lightheaded.

 

“I came to apologise. It was irresponsible of me to leave you here, especially with the FBI waiting for you to get back. I’ve tried everything to get you out of your sentence, but they won’t budge.” Steve genuinely looks  _ sorrowful.  _ It’s really very weird.

 

“Nah, it’s all good, Cap.” And it isn’t, really, but Scott’s not a dick. “You had to help your boyfriend get fixed up. I understand.”

 

“My… boyfriend?”   
  


“Barnes?” Shit, has he misinterpreted this as well? Like… he thought it was obvious, but maybe he’d been - “You two aren’t together? Weren’t together?”

 

“Oh.” Steve’s face clears. “No. We’re brothers. Closer than brothers - but not - not like that.” 

 

“Oh.” Huh. “Sorry. For assuming.”

 

“Don’t worry.” Steve puts a hand over his, very earnestly. 

 

It’s really very interesting how Scott can feel the touch all the way down to his soul. Well, that’s an issue. 

 

“He snores like a chainsaw. I could never sleep with him again.” 

 

“Oh.” This is weird -  _ very weird  _ \- but Scott doesn’t pull away. “Okay. I mean, you could have just called me. Coming here - it’s a risk. You’re still on the run, aren’t you?”

 

“The FBI won’t catch me here.” Steve assures him, as though it’s Scott he’s worried about. 

 

“It’s still a risk, though! For you! You’re a fugitive! I’m just a divorced dad with a lot of debt and an spangly bracelet on my ankle. You’re like… literally wanted by important people.” 

There are moments, sometimes, where his brain goes a little too fast and his words run away with him. It’s the sort of thing he should probably get checked out, but being a superhero doesn’t exactly have a healthcare plan. He swallows, tames his racing pulse.

“Sorry. I- I’m just. Worried. For you.”

 

Steve squeezes his hand gently and doesn’t look away. “That’s very kind of you, Scott, but I’m fine.”

 

Hey, so that curl of arousal in the pit of his stomach is totally inappropriate and he really shouldn’t be thinking about this. He shouldn’t be thinking about any of this. Scott pushes it back through sheer force of will. Steve's _fine?_ That sound like bullshit. “So you’re not coping at all, then?”

Yeah, he’s probably sticking his nose too far into it, but that’s just who he is. Hank and Hope would both verify that, if they were here.

 

Steve abruptly pulls away and moves over to the paper bag on the counter. He starts putting things away in Scott’s fridge. Celery, spinach, a crate of beers - healthy things.

 

Whelp. Guess Steve doesn’t want to talk about it. Scott mourns the lack of contact almost immediately. “Sorry. For prying. I don’t get many people to talk to in here.”

 

“Just Luis?”

 

“Well, my daughter too. My ex-wife, her partner, the pizza guy - people like that. You know. You don’t get much in the way of scintillating conversation when you can’t leave the house. Anything interesting happening out there? The world hasn’t ended, has it?” 

 

“I doubt the world’s going to end for a very long time.” Steve says, with a roll of his eyes. “Tony seems like he has a handle on the entire world’s security.”  He places three apples neatly in the fruit bowl. 

 

Scott didn’t even know he  _ had  _ a fruit bowl. But he doesn’t give two damns about Tony Stark. He’s not exactly fond of giant, monopolizing capitalists who don’t spend enough time or money on the people suffering around them.

Plus that jab at the airport? That had hurt.

 

“Trouble in paradise, I guess?”

 

“I don’t think there ever was a paradise.” Steve finishes unstacking the paper bag and folds it up neatly. He tucks it into his back pocket. 

 

In the mid-morning light coming from the window, it’s  _ too  _ domestic. Steve is a shining light and he makes everything in his kitchen look better by just being there. God, what has Scott done to deserve this? He swallows, takes a moment.

“Look, Steve, I’m not  _ not  _ glad to have you here - obviously - but like, if this was just about an apology or groceries or whatever, you could have just mailed them. You wouldn’t risk discovery unless it was for something really important. What’s going on?”

 

Steve settles back against the counter and sighs. It seems to take him a moment. “Do you think I’m attractive, Scott?”

 

Scott blinks. And then blinks again, because he’s still not sure that this isn’t a really convoluted dream. It leaves him even more confused. “You were voted the hottest superhero in the world by People Magazine, Steve. Even straight guys want to fuck you. I absolutely think you’re hot. Where’s this going?”

 

“Oh.” Steve halts, just for a moment, like he wasn’t quite expecting that answer. “I- uh-”

 

The look Steve’s giving him - there’s an edge to it, like he’s finally realised something he’s been thinking about for a long time. It’s slow, burning, considering. 

 

Scott doesn’t think he minds. A bead of sweat rolls down his back, and it’s not just from the warm day. “Steve, I-”

 

He doesn’t even see the other man move. 

 

* * *

Making out with a superhuman is so fucking  _ great. _

 

And hey, everything’s going a little too fast in his head for him to think - just warmth and pressure and fire in his belly- oh yeah, that’s  _ definitely  _ something sticking into his back - that’s definitely the knife block sticking into his back - oh jesus he’s going to get stabbed to death making out with Steve Rogers - that’ll make the local news surely -

 

He pushes Steve back and nearly sprains a wrist for his troubles. The man is  _ hard  _ \- not like that, but also probably like that too, Scott’s not yet had the space in his head to look - and gasps, “Just- wait. Just a sec.”

 

Steve pulls back, lips flushed and wet and  _ GOD  _ isn’t that a sight for sore eyes. “Something wrong? Was that- I shouldn’t have-”

 

“No!” Scott grasps his waist, pulls him back, stops him from moving away. Hoarsely, he gasps, “So not opposed.  _ So  _ not. I’m so so here for this, you have no idea. Just- I have knife handles sticking into my back and I… also have neighbors.” 

 

Old Mrs Johnson, who is sitting on her rocker on her front porch and resoundingly staring through his kitchen window, gives him a thumbs up and a grin. She’s missing a few teeth. 

 

Scott waves back weakly, absolutely sure he’s got a boner in front of his elderly neighbor, and America’s (ex) Favorite Son. Awesome. Fab. He’s going to be the talk of his neighborhood in less than ten minutes.

 

Steve just nods at Mrs Johnson, all business, and says, “Bedroom?”

 

“Oh my god, I  _ so _ fucking love you.” 

  
  


Even if Steve  _ does  _ spot the copy of  _ Captain America: 69 Erotic Stories  _ on his bedside table, Scott’s pretty sure he won’t mind. 

  
(It’s  _ research,  _ okay?) 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> you honestly can't tell me that in a world where superheroes exist there wouldn't be shittily written erotic paperbacks about them.
> 
> and this is the end!

**Author's Note:**

> hit me up on the [ tumblr ](http://villainousfilmmaker.tumblr.com)

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [[PODFIC] scott lang is absolutely, positively going to die here](https://archiveofourown.org/works/15809295) by [Skyuni123](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Skyuni123/pseuds/Skyuni123)




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